darkandnutty

Who did you last share a bed with?
r & k

Hahaha i know this will make absolutly no sense whatsoever to anyone but i just had to post it for memories sake hahaha

I do hope to make some real entries one day soon :)

Kell xoxox

my sister just called to tell us that a freind of our dad and herself Dean may not make it through the weekend, he has a cancer i think it is bowl he was diagnosed about i yr ago im not sure he got better and now he may not make it to monday. i knew his daughter ashly through school and band she is a lovly girl who is always cheerfull an pleasant not someone who deseves to see her father go through this. he was a part of the bunbury city concert band he was a percusionest(sp?) my dad also did percusion breifly with him but the band is having a concert in honour of him and my sister is coming down for that posibly to be part of it i dont know. it is made even more sad because a big part of the comunity and another band member recently passed away from bowl cancer only a few months ago

this is for Dean a great drummer and percusionist who always smiled i hope you make it through

i beleive i have found my best freind from carnarvon who i have not spoken to for a few years now i havent seen her for at least 8 yrs wow it has been that long sice i last went to carnarvon i am almost certin it is her as i dont remeber any other ppl in my yr called kate i hope it is cos she now lives in perth and i am hopefully going the in a few weeks to see my sis so it would be great to see her again well im off to fnd food cos i didnt have dinner cos i was at work an my perents didnt save me any :< even after a 13 hour day yes i went to class at 20 to 9 then got home at 10 cos it wAS QUIET AT WORK i didnt even get to go home befor work

well all i had to do was "try" to play my bass and nerly nock myself out yes i managed hit myself in the head with my bass dont ask how lol and now im listening to the kerragn dvd and im all happy and awake
i wish i wasnt so awake cos it is 12.30 am an i have to get up at 7.45 whee it shall be so much fun well bye

listening to breath for me by deadstra assembly it is how i feel and made me think of all my goals i think it is the piano i want to be able to play it because it is so familar weather it is from the peice i wrote for class music last yr or another song that i cant remeber at this time but i wanted to play it and learn bass properly it just made me think so much how much i want a different life seeing another music clip i now have the urg to get my bass out and play it i hAVe had it for like 2 yrs it is now missing a string but i will avoid that i just need to play it

i was happy for so long i was good i had the odd few hours where i was like this but it was sudden but i should have seen it coming. it started this afternooon i was talkng to my sister she was telling me how at the end of next yr she wants to move to america to study i was all yeh i will go to an rah rah it was all good didnt think bout it again till now. i was packing my bag for class tomorow and realised i could be a fully qualified chef in 4 yrs by the time i am 21 i could be a chef my mood just went down so fast i hate it when it does this i just doubt myself wonder where my life will go think of how i want my life to be i hate my stupid overactive imagination and fears that make me paranoid and panicky i wish i wasnt so shy and i talked more was more outgoing but im just shy rearly talk. i was like this almost evry day befor i left school now im going to tafe it has only hapend about 2 times but when it does it hits hard and i feel hevey inside. going on the internet seeing ppl that have the life i dream of that i can never have because my family wouldnt accept it i want to be myself but i am to shy to be me i know it sounds stupid but i dont want ppl to see me and think that is who i am but i want to show them the real me but im to shy to do so around my perents thats why i like going to the city and staying with my sis cos i can be more myself around her and i can see ppl who i want to be like and i feel more like them cos i am being myself there is shops that have clothes that i like and music stors that have a wide variety of music that i like i hate being young there isnt nything i can do an my perents still have to know evrysingle detail at least at by the end of next yr i will have my liencs so more freedom then
it is 6 yr till i can go to america and be able to drink or do watever the hell i want at least here it will only be 2 more yrs
if anyone has read all this they will probably think i am emo or some shit im not im just messed up and have no life